Mothers, Wives, and the FreeBirds Who Don't Want Any of It!

I recently read an article titled, "I Look Down on Young Women with Husbands and Children and I'm Not Sorry." I'm not linking it here, because this thing has already gone 'viral,' which I'm sure was her intent and it is nothing worth thousands of people reading. 

This article was just the cherry on top to the norm I've noticed lately. I've seen too many blog posts like this one and, '23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You're 23,' all the memes that say, "All my friends are off getting married and having kids and I'm just over here 'getting more awesome' or 'eating a cupcake' or 'traveling' or 'loving naps.' They are funny, but it's just getting so annoying to the point I want to stab myself in the eyeball and write something about it. So here it is. 

The first article mentioned pissed off a lot of Moms and it's hard not to take those kinds of articles personal. Anything that says your worth is diminished by raising your children, will obviously stir the pot and get the Mom Army on the internet defending themselves!  The whole article had me fuming and if I had written this post in the heat of the moment there would have been harsh language (which I rarely use) and it might have looked like this..."a;lsdkhfa;lshf;ashdfsj;alkshgdfiyblnv;lcvu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Because I would have not been able to organize my raging thoughts! 

My post probably would have stooped to calling her names and honestly, ripping her little blog article to shreds with how naive it is. But I slept on it, so now I can put together a thoughtful response and do the best I can to not get ugly or question her character as a human being. 

Reading her article, basically, gave me the sense that she is a weak woman. First, if you feel the need to drag anyone down along your life's journey-- you need to look in the mirror, because you have some serious issues. Especially, when you drag down your fellow women!  

Second, she says backpacking through Asia, getting a promotion and landing a dream job are all means for a celebration. I love a good celebration, so yes, I agree with that. She then states that having a child and getting married are average feats and why on Earth would we celebrate the women doing that? They're doing "nothing." For me, loving some one unconditionally and being completely vulnerable, you know, actually letting some one in, is a whole lot scarier than hopping on a plane to Asia. Been there, done that. 

Saying that having children is a "super easy task," is just plain old disrespectful to the thousands of women facing fertility issues and only dreaming of holding a healthy baby. Not to mention; squeezing about 10 pounds out of you-know-where isn't easy either. Probably the hardest thing a human body can endure. You definitely earn your Bad Ass Badge after child labor.

Third, this individual, explains that raising kids and running a household is actually a cover up to mothers' "lack of real accomplishments." Having a home, where 3 human beings come home to at the end of every day and feel safe and loved, is the biggest accomplishment I've obtained this far in my life (beating my bachelors degree, traveling to foreign countries, and starting my own business). In the home, I've made, they've grown their self worth, learned values, morals, and kindness (something she could take a little lesson on). 

Managing a house hold is important. Probably the most important thing a woman can do in her lifetime, because (most of the time) it creates good human beings and when you're gone, the only true legacy you leave behind are the people you create. 

News flash; the majority of good men still out there, want a woman that can hold down the fort at home. I'm a stay at home mom, but I've never felt less independent or like I've had to give up any of my dreams and that is partly due to the fact that I'm with a good, respectful, gentleman. He's never made me feel less than and like "just a stay at home mom."  I'm with a man who sees me as an equal, because I am a freaking equal and I don't need to be working in some high rise building to know that or earn his respect. 

Without their clean clothes and supportive family at home; the doctors, engineers, and business owners wouldn't ever make it to that profession. Women support their men through all their training, school, field hours and whatever else needs to be done. Yes, some men have that drive on their own, but lots of men would never reach their ultimate goal without their wife or girlfriend encouraging them along the entire way. 

The whole article seems very naive to me. One day, you'll get it girl, you'll get it. Just keep plugging away and life will throw you a wake up call when you're ready. And just a little word of advice- You shouldn't "look down" on anyone; you could be working for them some day. 

It's just fascinating to me that women are still saying, "I'm going to go against the grain, I'm going to travel and not get married and never have kids." That is awesome for you, I am not judging by any means, but you are not going against the grain anymore. Women who are married and have kids under 30 are far and few between now a days and receive endless flak (like the whole article I just discussed), like they're throwing away their dreams and "settling" for less than what this life has to offer. Starting a family and committing your life to your significant other is scarce in this century.

People act like if you have a family, you can't have anything else the world has to offer. Which is false, for me anyways. Having a family has just made my life that much more magical. I still get to have a good time with friends, pursue my dreams, and guess what...I'm actually going to Paris in a few months. Wow! A mom...traveling!! Who would have thought! I feel like I have it all. Traveling, family, and career don't have to be antonyms. Women don't have to choose one or the other. If they are all equally important to you; it is possible to have all three in your life! 

In the end, do what makes you happy and don't judge others living their life differently than you. And try to remember life's all about the people. Treat them kindly.