Coming To Terms With The Word "God."

I haven't written much about spirituality on my blog yet. Nothing has struck me as important to share about it, because I'm very much in alignment with 'to each their own.' Whatever God fits your life, I think that is the God you should believe in and I am not going to judge in any way, shape, or form.

Well, I recently had a spiritual, self-discovery that I thought was worth sharing. I realized that for the past 10 or so years I had been running from the word "God." I have been spiritual in those last 10 years and am probably the most spiritual I have ever been in my life right now, but if anyone used the actual word, 'God,' in a sentence, I immediately shut down, my mind drifted else where, and I would smile and nod politely, not really hearing anything they had to say. 

Growing up, my family was not devout amongst any specific religion. We went to a Christian church on and off and I knew the story of Jesus and why we celebrated Christmas, but I was never put into a religious box, which I am very thankful for. I feel like it has allowed me to embark on my own spiritual journey and not feel like I am betraying any one in the process.

I have extended family who grew up in a strict church and I went with them every now and again and always left with big eyes and my mouth wide open, because it was strange to me, the way they "worshipped." They had the holy ghost and speaking in tongues and it just felt foreign. I didn't feel connected to any higher being, attending their services and I always left feeling a little uncomfortable and judged. The way they talked about God and everything you have to do to earn his approval to even get the chance to enter those pearly gates. 

Even from this young age, I always had a problem with calling God, "Him," with a capital H. Him, His, He. Why? This isn't some feminist side coming out either, I think I would have been just as confused if God was Her, Hers, or She. How can this all-mighty and all-powerful being be a He? How could he have made the planet and walk around looking like you and me? It just didn't sit well with me. The preachers didn't put me at ease, either. How can this human claim to be so much closer to God than I am? We are both just humans, after all, couldn't I be just as close to God, as him, if I wanted to be? I was just confused. I didn't get God. So I steered away from it and I figured any person talking about God believed in this magical human, sitting in the clouds, judging all of us, so I rolled my eyes and didn't listen. And I didn't listen for years.

But now, I get it. To me, God is the standard of pure, beautiful, kind life that every one seeks to live up to and prayer is the intention of your heart and soul. You can wrap that standard around any Holy book and the belief in Him, you can sit on the waters edge and listen to the waves crash, you can travel to the Holy land, you can get on your knees and say, "Thank you," you can create, you can listen, and you can just be. Just being here is spiritual. 

I listen now. When people talk about their form of God, I listen intently, because any God, is one that encourages love and light and greatness. Why wouldn't I want to hear about how people are finding their inspiration and seeking their greatness? 

I, personally, like to call God, The Universe; encompassing all things and running through all things. I feel God when the leaves blow in the wind, when I see the sunset, when I'm laughing from deep within, when I'm writing, when the Sun shines on my children, when I'm shown forgiveness, when I'm loved when I don't deserve it, when I see kindness amongst strangers, when people give their time to be with other people, when I receive a hug at exactly the right time, when a flower grows through a crack in the concrete, when the perfect song comes on the radio, right when you need to hear it, I could go on and on. For me, I feel God in the little things. And it's the little things that are leaving me feeling complete and satisfied at the end of each day. 

The love and seeking to be better that every human encounters--that is the spiritual journey and it runs through all of us, so if you want to call it God and envision a mighty Man keeping you on course, I think that is noble. If you want to meditate, I think that's noble. If you want to drop to your knees and pray 5 times a day, I think that's noble. Whatever spiritual path you're on, if it's improving your life and your compassion towards others, I think you're on the right track and it's brave, yet peaceful, to stay on that track.

I'm at peace with God. Yours and mine.